By Shawn Hansen, The Valley Patriot
Published December 2009
Comics Come Home brought nearly 6,000 people to the Agganis Arena in their 15th year. Saturday, Nov. 7, the night featured 10 comics as it sponsored the Cam Neely Foundation.
Talking to Cam about the foundation, he said, “Basically we raise money for cancer patients and their families through various programs,” explaining that it started with The Neely House, and helped over 5,000 families.
Walking into the arena, two huge televisions were set up hanging over the stage. Just before the actual comedy show began, John Stewart had a message for Comics Come Home.
Stewart said, “When Denis Leary told me that he was going to be doing a cancer benefit, I figured he’s just covering his basis, you know what I’m saying? I have never seen anyone smoke four cigarettes from all holes. Really, I’m not sure how he does it. He’s done so much to promote cancer, I think he should at least do a little bit to fight it.”
Talking to Leary backstage before the show about Rescue Me, he said, “I can’t say much about it without giving something away. I can say this, as evidence by past seasons on Rescue Me if you die, sometimes your part gets bigger because you come back as a ghost.”
Leary said there is going be two more seasons of Rescue Me, and next years episodes will kick off in May.
Starting the show, Leary went off in a tangent about the Yankees wishing Mariano Rivera’s arms would fall off, and Kate Hudson would throw A-Rod’s engagement ring to his feet.
Rifling off bits about baseball, Leary said, “The last guy from America to play on the Red Sox was Carlton Fisk, and he was from New Hampshire. A guy from Japan won the World Series… We had to get Godzilla to hit home runs for the Yankees…”
Ranting about The Biggest Loser, Leary said the only reason these people are losing weight is because they are either passing gas, or picking their nose.
“People say it’s not fair Denis because you’re so…skinny. We’re going to keep making fun of you because you, you want to know why? Because, you can’t catch us, that’s why.”
Following Leary was Tony V telling the audience to forgive him for his appearance because that is what he looks like.
Bringing up a conversation about pirates invading people in 2009, V said pirates are not easily recognizable and, “You got something in your head that a pirate looks like. Yeah, Johnny Depp.”
He ended that bit saying he believes Captain Morgan is a pirate because he has hijacked him more then once.
Kenny Rogerson took the mike from V next and brought up the fact that Christmas is coming.
“I never know what to get for Christmas. My grandparents, one of them is 96, the other ones 98, and I don’t know what to get them. I figured the calendars coming out.”
Jimmy Fallon took the stage singing, “Car wash for peace, there’s trouble in the Middle East. Put down those guns, pick up the sponge, car wash for peace.”
After the song, Fallon thanked everyone saying Boston is awesome, and if he knew you could make a video like all the other talk show hosts, he might have made one himself. He said filming Fever Pitch in 2004 was the greatest experience of his life, and backstage, he told me, “It was a phenomenal thing, it will never happen again. It’s just one of those things where it’s like unless you were at a Cubs movie and shoot it every year until they win then it will never happen again.”
Closing his act, Fallon impersonated Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Richard Lewis, Robin Williams, Lora Domai, Mitch Hedberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Larry The Cable Guy, Stephen Wright, Adam Sandler, and tried imitate Eddie Murphy.
The audience was in hysterics when he said, “Black people do not like hockey,” impersonating Rock.
Whitney Cummings laughed up a storm joking about strip clubs saying everyone that most of her friends are getting married, therefore she has been going to a lot of these clubs.
“The funniest thing to me about male strippers is they are always in police uniforms, firemen uniforms, because they say women like men in uniform, right? We don't like men in uniform, we like men with jobs,” joked Cummings.
Right before Cummings left the stage, she talked about how girlfriends nowadays send their boyfriends pictures to their cell phones showing them what’s waiting at home.
“If I was going to take a here’s what’s happening photo shoot, I would take some pictures of the…dishes, or the bills,” said Cummings.
Lenny Clarke then took the mike telling the audience that Curt and Shonda Schilling were in the crowd celebrating their 17th anniversary of marriage.
“I myself have been happily married for 35 years, five different women, but I’m no…quitter,” said Clarke.
After Clarke, Adam Ferrara came to the stage saying he recently just came back from Jamaica flying Air Jamaica.
“Air Jamaica is a Bob Marley tour bus in the sky. The captain gets on the Air Jamaica intercom saying, ‘This is your captain speaking,’ breaking out in laughter saying, ‘Don’t look at me, I can’t do it now, I’ll call you back,” said Ferrara impersonating a Jamaican pilot. Seconds after the captain hangs up the phone, Ferrara says, “This is your captain again. I apologize for that drop in altitude (while laughing) saying, ‘I saw a cloud and thought it was a Chicken Salad Sandwich.”’
Back stage, Ferrara told me that he has been doing Comics Come Home for at least 10 years, and, “I’ve been a standup comic since July 13, 1988. That’s probably one of the pertinent facts I can remember.”
Bringing up the topic of Michael Vick playing football again, comedian Patrice Oneal is perfectly okay with that. Oneal said Vick did his time in jail and should be able to do whatever he wants now that he is out, and not have to apologize for anything. Oneal went on saying the reason he keeps doing it is because he is good at it.
After Oneal’s “time” on stage, host Leary introduced the next comedian Jeffrey Ross.
“He went to school here at B.U. before they had the really good…like this place. You remember when B.U. kind of… Now its like, I’d rather skate here then at the…Garden. They have a movie theater in the back where the players can come off the ice in their skates and watch highlights from the first period. What the… Popcorn and… I have to stop hitting him, I have to hit him.”
With a wonderful introduction, Ross took over saying, “Denis, man, great job hosting tonight. Never realized Wilem Dafoe and Anne Heche had a baby.”
Working out to stay physically fit for the ladies, Ross said, “I work out at the jungle gym right in front of McDonalds,” explaining that his trainer is 4.5 but is built like a nine year old. “We do like 20 reps on the slide, a couple hours in the sandbox, then we…in our pants and our moms come pick us up.”
Talking to Ross before Comics Come Home kicked of their 15th year, Ferrara said, “Believe half of what he says.”
In his second year at Comics Come Home, Ross said B.U. was his alma mater.
“B.U. is finally getting recognized, I’m just kidding. B.U. has always been a great conglomerate, always taking over Boston, and now it’s unreal,” said Ross who recently came out with a book titled “I Only Roast the Ones I love.
“It’s a how to for making fun of people without upsetting them,” said Ross.
Lastly, Bill Burr closed the night blowing the audience away with his lunch joke. Before he closed the night however, he told me he was in a movie called Date Night this past summer, and has been in four Comics Come Home shows.
Burr said when Leary called him the first year he appeared in the lineup he was star struck.
He left a message saying, “Hey, Billy, this is Denis. You’re really…funny, thank you for coming on, something like that,” said Burr.
“I went to order a turkey sandwich the other day,” said Burr explaining that he wanted lettuce, tomatoes, and mayonnaise on Rye. “They go, ‘turkey sandwich, lettuce tomato on Rye.’” At this time, Burr agrees with them telling them he also wants mayonnaise.
“The guy goes, ‘Oh, the mayonnaise, its right over there,”’ said Burr. “Really, then why don’t you…go over there, and put it on my sandwich. I’m on this side of the register. Guy who orders the sandwich, guy who makes the… sandwich.”
Burr then told the sandwich maker that he paid full price for everything and he refuses to do work he should be doing.
“This isn’t like a relay race. You make half the sandwich, you… hand it off to me, I run over and pick a line full speed over to my mom, she puts a tooth pick in it.”
After Burr’s performance, Leary sang the A-Hole song. Listen to the A-Hole song by going to www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzoPTtTfcrA. For more about the Cam Neely Foundation, go to www.camneelyfoundation.com. For more information about Shawn Hansen’s Comedy Corner, go to: www.shawnhansenscomedycorner.blogspot.com.
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