By Shawn Hansen, The Valley Patriot
Published January 2010
On Dec. 5 at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Bill Cosby entertained a full house for nearly two hours.
Before the actual show began, a fan ex- pressed her feelings for Cosby hollering, “We love you Bill.” In response, Cosby said, “Not so fast.”
Telling the audience that he is 72 years old and has been per- forming for
47 years, Cosby said, “I started when I was young, and now I’m old, and what happened was somewhere around my seventh year of perform- ing, I noticed that people where sitting down, and I was stand- ing.” With that said, Cosby sat on a chair through most of the show.
He talked about when he went to Reno, Nevada and bumped into a couple with a bucket full of quarters for gambling pur- poses, Cosby said they blurted out, “This is the luckiest day of our lives. Today, we got married, she hit the jackpot for $500, then we see you.”
Jumping over to the China Blossom on Dec. 18 in North Andover for the main event, the comedy show, I enjoyed a fine meal of Chinese food.
Aside my favorite, General Tso’s Chicken, which was absolutely mouth wa- tering, I had the Crab Rangoon, Chicken Fingers, and (more) General Tso’s Chicken. The food at the China Blossom is scrumptious and I recommend everyone goes there, not today, not tomorrow, but now!
After dinner, the show began with host Johnny Joyce talking to a group of 20 or so ambulance workers who were drinking it up, having a good time in the corner of the room.
Telling everyone to call an ambulance when your drunk, Joyce said if you feel sick, or have chest pains call an ambu- lance company and tell them where you are, and to pick you up.
“Before that, call AAA, and have your car towed so you can get in the ambu- lance. There’s no activity going on, you didn’t smash into the guard rail, a cop didn’t show up,” said Joyce explaining to call any company you can. “Have the ambulance take you home, pay the 620,
it’s cheaper then the 3,000 you’ll pay for driving drunk.”
Taking the mike next was no other then Steve Albert who brought up a story of working for a homeless shelter in Lowell even though he felt no one thought he worked there.
“At the end of the day, we’d all get off the couch,
I’d get paid, and they’d get really, really con- fused,” said Albert.
Kris Earle then jogged in dressed as Santa Claus giving every- one Candy Canes. In the holiday spir- it, Earle sang a song called, “When I rode a sleigh”
to the song “When I ruled the world” by Cold Play.
“I used to ride a sleigh, had to work for only one day. Now in the morning I’ll need a loan to keep the village I own. One moment the world loved me, Hanukkah Harry had nothing on me.”
Following Earle’s song, Rick Cormier spun the room in a new direction firing off one-liners left and right.
Talking about relationships, Cormier said, “I fell in love with this girl they called Corn Chip. I found out later that it was because she was Frito-lay.”
Recently getting out of a marriage he said his ex-wife is a housekeeper who got to keep his car too.
“We fought all the time. One time she told me to zip her up, I said, sure, where’s the body bag? I’m kidding. I put my wife on a pedestal. Of coarse, I kicked it away when the noose was in place.”
In the holiday spirit like Earle, Bob Gautreau came to the stage dressed as a Christmas tree singing a song.
“Every year when Christmas comes, something happens to me. You know its like I’m decorated like a Christmas tree. Warning, when I plug in, don’t throw water at me.”
Impersonating Robert DeNiro doing the “DeNiro face,” Gautreau said DeNiro hates Christmas and would say, “Merry Christmas, happy holidays, jolly holiday and all that...bull... Everybody is always happy. What if you just broke up with somebody and you aint too...happy about it?”
